I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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