Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
