i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
