dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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