Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
