he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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