He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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