I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm getting married
To pizza
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
