census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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