I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
