So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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