My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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