Your dad touched me again.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
