god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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