No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I wear drunk well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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