I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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