I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
