There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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