break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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