Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel