Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?