I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
