I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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