you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
