how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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