Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My vagina is very pro this idea
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