we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize