I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Found your dick twin last night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
