she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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