you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
