why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
