So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
