I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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