lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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