dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
