and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
