i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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