she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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