im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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