The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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