Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
