I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
