ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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