But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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