its not stalking. its research.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
