I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize