clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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