Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
