Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
