my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize