i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
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Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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