sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?