Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.