apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.