You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
