I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
