I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
