i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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